This August 18th, hubby and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage and 12 years of love.
Awwww, how sweet right?
Stop! This ain’t no mushy post! 🤣
The reality is, he be working my very last nerves and I know I make him call on Jesus sometimes – MAYBE A LOT!. Despite how we feel in those not-so-great moments. We still love each other. Right, babe? 😝 (I can totally see the look on his face right now)
Before we get into the nitty gritty of how we survived after saying I do, I thought it would be fun to share 10 fun facts – His 5 vs. My 5.
She went all “Woman Thou Art Loosed” on me before getting to understand that I too knew my scripture.
She thought we were hoodlums when she first met us.
She tried to front like she wasn’t looking for me to come bowling and when I show up there – the person who would talk to me all day on the phone suddenly had nothing to say to me all night.
She gave me a long dissertation on how we shouldn’t be taking this long and that she’s been through this before so we might as well just stay friends. Then, I shut her up and ask her to be my girl and you know what she says? – “Let me think about it” 😂
She tried to pass me off to her friends and little sisters.
He brought an avocado to my church just because I said I like avocados. (I thought it was cute though) 🥑
He tried to get in my head with biblical questions like – What should a man of God look like?
He spent the whole night staring me down when we were supposed to be bowling. He had no shame in his game.
I spent an hour on the phone with Stephanie trying to decide whether I should agree to being his girl AFTER I GAVE HIM A WHOLE SPEECH ABOUT TAKING SO LONG.
He ate a mouthful of Pikliz (Haitian Pepper Sauce) when he first met my parents because he thought it was coleslaw. FIRE IN THE HOLE! 🔥
Ahh the memories! We were so young then.
Kenny and I are an open book. You ask any of us the real deal on marriage. GET READY! Because we are going to dish it out.
The Good, The Bad and the UGLY!
Marriage is no joke! It’s not a fairytale and yes, you go at it. Don’t let no one SELL YOU A FANTASY! You’ll have days where you want to just cuddle and love up on your spouse. Then, you’ll have days where you just want them to go away for a while and leave you be. The key is remembering that marriage is two imperfect people trying to live life together in an imperfect world. You’re bound to argue, say things you wish you didn’t, etc. However, for us, those moments are not an excuse to bail. They are a call to draw closer together and work on what we’ve spent all these years building.
We’ve made it thus far and we’ve got a testimony!
What’s our testimony? 8 years and 2 kids later, we are still in it together and we are in it for the long haul. Why? Because we agreed that we will fight for our marriage until there is no more fight left in us. Our marriage counselor – Pastor Gregory Nelson – told us from the very onset that if we are going into this thing with the mentality that if it doesn’t work we can always end it, then we need not get married. He covered every possible thing we could encounter down to infidelity. I believe one of the reasons why we are holding strong today is because we went through 3+ months of marriage counseling with a no nonsense God-fearing marriage counselor. He kept it real, he was transparent and he remained un-biased. His goal was to ensure that we were clear on the step we were about to take.
I also have to credit the solid examples we had to follow. Both of our parents have been married for over 35+ years. My parents are nearing the 50 year mark. I remember my parents going at it and then sitting together laughing it up as if nothing ever happened. Like my mom use to always say – Men are a special breed, you’ve got to woman up to get through it. (sounds better in creole though!)
So, what tips would I share?
In my 8 years of marriage, I’ve learned to:
PRAY more than you bicker.
Pull back and approach the topic at a later date.
Try to see their point of view.
Never forget that it’s ok to agree to disagree.
Better to step away and go for a walk than to let things get too heated.
Don’t let people’s opinions of the situation determine the outcome of your marriage.
Your marriage = Your Journey! Don’t compare it to social media marriages!
Family does matter, but our marriage comes first.
Celebrate his efforts more than you highlight his flaws.
Switch it up and keep it spontaneous.
Surround yourself with like-minded couples. You don’t need a ton of them. Just a few REAL ones.
Now that we have a son and daughter, the pressure is on to be the example they can look up to when their turn comes around. Marriage is a beautiful journey if you BOTH commit to making it work.
So babe, let’s do this thing!