Happy Hump Day! Happy New Year! Happy EVERYTHING ya’ll! It’s been a while since I blogged. Life has just taken over and I’ve been dealing with a few things that have consumed my time. No excuse really, but hey that’s life!
Today I came across this video by Kristina Kuzmic and I have to admit it totally hit me like a bag of bricks. Though I have heard this message in some shape or form before, the video hit home for me and really got me thinking that I need to reprogram the expectations that I place on myself as a mom.
I think I practically watched the video on repeat at least 7 times. I needed the message to stick. After my struggle with post-partum, I fell into this comparing and competing period where every mom seemed to have it together except me. Granted some outside factors contributed to me feeling that way, but I allowed myself to believe it.
It is a struggle that I believe millions of moms go through on a daily basis. We never think we are good enough or do enough or know enough. The fact of the matter is no one does. There is no manual that comes with being a mom. We one day take a test and it says “Pregnant” and we grow this little human in our bellies for close to 10 months and boom a nurse walks over and hands you this little blessing and walks away.
No one ever gives you a guide and no one even says hey girl here’s a checklist. You are handed this little human and from that period on are expected to just be a mom. I remember when I took my daughter home for the first time. I was terrified to give her a bath. I mean, I never bathed a baby before much less a newborn. I remember praying Lord, please don’t let me drown the child.
I didn’t feel like I knew what I was doing and it didn’t help that everyone was spewing their opinions on how I should go about doing things and I had to sort through that noise while trying to figure it all out. Six years later with a kindergartener, I am still figuring it all out. I learn something knew everyday. I discover better ways to do things everyday. I have my good days where I just feel like I am the bomb mom and then I have my days where I could just curl up under a rock and just cry. I’ve had those floor moments where I weep uncontrollably and then my daughter would just come in and give me a hug and say it’s gonna be alright mommy. You know what, she was right. It was alright. I survived. I made it. She’s still breathing and doesn’t think I am a complete nutcase. That alone means I am doing something right.
It’s amazing how hard we can be on ourselves. We are our worst critics. What’s amazing is most of the things we tell ourselves are lies. Today, I may not still be the perfect mom I always said I’d be, but I sure am doing the best that I can and that is all is required of me. If you’re mom out there comparing yourself to other moms or talking down to yourself, STOP! If you think you are just a hot mess and can’t get it together, STOP! Take a breath and look around you. You are doing ok and your kids love you for who you are. Take some time to laugh, play and just make some memories with them. Soon they’ll be off to college and we’ll wonder to ourselves where did the time go. I refuse to waste any more time doubting myself or seeking perfection. I’ll never be perfect, but I sure will be remembered as a mom that did her best.
Hope this helps someone out there!