When I became a mom, I found myself more often than not having to apologize for not being able to do things as spontaneously as I use to before mommyhood. Becoming a mom meant that I had pick and chose what events I could make and unfortunately, not many folks understood nor cared to try.
I remember one month into being a new mom and recovering from a c-section, a colleague called me and told me off for not calling her once a week to check in on how she was doing. Umm, I am still trying to remember what sleep is ma’am!
The last thing on my mind was work. Hence the term, maternity leave. That was my first encounter with how ignorant people can be towards new moms. At first, I was extremely annoyed, irritated, upset and downright disappointed. Then, I came to realize some important lessons.
1. People have the right to feel the way they do and to want what they want. However, I also have the right to decide how that affects my life.
2. I shouldn’t have to apologize for being a mom. Yes, I am not the first mom in the world and I know millions have gone ahead of me. However, this is my mom-ship and how I choose to navigate it is my choice.
3. People can’t understand your journey if they’ve never had to walk in your shoes. You can’t expect everyone to understand what you are going through. It is not their experience. They are just spectators.
4. Do as I say not as I do – is REAL! It was ok when they were lost in their new mom world, but now that it’s your turn – How dare you enjoy it? Selfish much? I know!
No mother or father should be made to feel guilty for being an intentional parent. Parent-hood is a gift. It’s a blessing that should be cherished. It shouldn’t become your excuse for not living life – but how you live your life shouldn’t be measured by anyone’s expectations.
We live in a world that is downright depressing and if we as parents don’t intentionally decide to be parents, our children will grow up feeling hopeless. I made a promise to myself that when I became a parent that I would be the type of parent that schedules outings, family nights and play time with my children. Though some days it doesn’t quite work out the way I planned, I am still committed to my promise.
I want my daughter to have memories of her mom and dad spending quality time with her. I want to intentionally be there for her not because I have to be, but because I want to be.
I had to come to the conclusion that I will be a mom who enjoys her call to mommy life – GUILT-FREE! I know that means I’ll miss out on some cool events, but it also means that I won’t miss out on my daughter’s life. Those who love me and want the best for my family will understand and still be there. Those who don’t – well….I’ll leave that right there.
This world no longer has any respect for the family unit, but that doesn’t mean that families are now invalid. It means we have to work even harder to build a solid family legacy that our kids can pass on to future generations.
God places a great emphasis on the family and the enemy is bent on destroying it. One thing for sure is I ain’t giving mine up without a fight. We ain’t going down for nobody. God will be at the forefront of my home and I choose to be a happy and willing participant on this voyage.
Have you ever felt like you’ve had to choose between your friends and your family? What are some of the challenges you’ve faced as a mom?
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